hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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