You just made me feel so damn special
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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