I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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