I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
