"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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