I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
