Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
