The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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