I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I wear drunk well.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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