I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
