It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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