Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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