What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize