I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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