just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Are we still banned from the library?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
