how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
