Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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