Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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