So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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