first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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