i don't like sucking hair
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
