I'm lost and stupid without you.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
