I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
