I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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