i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
