you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
