4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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