definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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