Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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