No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
