he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
