I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
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