We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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