I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You pole danced in your parka.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
