Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
