Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
