my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
