I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
