She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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