margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
