I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
