i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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