is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Randomize
