clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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