So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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