I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My liver just had a heart attack.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
