Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
