'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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