After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
