had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
