Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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