Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
