im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
