I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Barsexuality is the new black.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
