is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
