After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
