just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Randomize
