Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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