Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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