You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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