Only a mothe r could love this liver
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize