Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
time to smoke my breakfast
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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