Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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