Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
