Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
