READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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