Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
