she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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