I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
